How do stop thinking about your ex

A breakup can have seriously negative effects on your mental and physical well-being, especially if you find that you're still dwelling on it months later. Breakups have been associated with weakened immune systems and an increased risk of illness.

People who have not gotten over a breakup within 16 weeks can even experience physical changes in their brains that reduce their motivation, concentration, and emotions. It is critical to get professional help before your physical health begins to suffer.

Remind yourself to let go. There are a variety of behavioral techniques you can try to stop obsessive thoughts about your ex.

All of these techniques rely on your ability to recognize when a thought about your ex enters your mind and to take a specific action to stop that thought from coming back. Remember that these techniques are to be used for obsessive thoughts only! If you have not yet dealt with your feelings and taken the time to grieve, you should not try to suppress your thoughts. You can try wearing a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it each time you think about your ex.

You can write down the thoughts you are having about your ex on a piece of paper and then throw it away. You can try a visualization exercise, which requires you to visualize a specific scene whenever a thought of your ex occurs to you. For example, you could think of a stop sign in order to remind yourself that you need to stop what you are doing. If you do this consistently, the association should become automatic. Part 2. Avoid contact with your ex.

Even if you think you want to be friends with your ex, it's important to give yourself some time away from him or her. You must fully heal before you can begin spending time with your ex again. If you don't allow for any healing time, you may continue to think of your ex as your partner because your bond as a couple will not have been broken. Take a moment to think about why you want to be friends. If it's because you're scared about living your life without your ex, you may be using it as a way to avoid dealing with the grief of the breakup.

Most people do not end up being friends with their exes. Don't feel bad if it just doesn't feel right, even after you've had your time to grieve. Get rid of shared belongings. If you find yourself thinking about your ex whenever you look at the watch he got you for Christmas or the DVD collection you bought together, it might be time to part with these things. Remove any pictures of your ex from your house.

If you lived together and you can't get rid of all of your shared belongings, it might help to revitalize your space with some new energy by changing the paint color or reorganizing the furniture. This will help it feel like your own place instead of the place you shared with your ex.

Avoid checking up on your ex. You will never be able to stop thinking about your ex if you are getting status updates about him or her on your phone all the time. Even if things did not end with animosity, it may be a good idea to unfriend your ex on social media. Similarly, it's a good idea to stop driving past your ex's house on your way to work or asking your mutual friends about how your ex is doing.

Alter your daily routine. People often develop a routine with their significant others, and following the same routine after you break up can emphasize feelings of loneliness and trigger thoughts about them. Create a new routine all your own. Instead of making your signature Saturday breakfast, try taking a walk and trying out a new cafe.

Part 3. Be social. Surrounding yourself with friends and loved ones will help keep your mind on all of the positive aspects of your life, and off of your ex. It's also important to commit yourself to the hobbies and activities that you most enjoy, especially if your ex kept you from pursuing them. Go to source If your social life revolved around your ex, it's important to get out there and make new friends.

Try joining clubs or participating in volunteer activities to meet new people. If you relied on your ex for emotional support, try relying on someone other than a romantic partner for this kind of support, like a best friend or a sibling. You might be surprised to discover just how much support you really have!

If you find yourself thinking obsessively about your ex when you are at home alone, come up with something to do, whether it's having dinner with a friend, visiting a museum by yourself, or going for a walk. Think about your future. You may have planned a future with your ex, and if you did, it's understandable that everything might feel uncertain now. Try to focus on the positives by reminding yourself of all of the great things you can and will accomplish in the future without your ex.

Go to source Try to enjoy your present-day life as well. Even though you may want to be in a relationship, there are lots of benefits to being single too, so try to enjoy it while it lasts. Focus on taking care of yourself. In order to boost your mood, it's important to practice healthy habits. Make sure you exercise regularly and get plenty of sleep.

Committing yourself to a healthy lifestyle will not only make you feel good, but it may just offer you the escape you need from thoughts about your ex. Find new love when you're ready. There's no golden rule for when you should start dating again after a breakup, so do whatever you feel is right for you. Avoid jumping into a new relationship just because you don't want to be alone, but don't be afraid to put yourself out there either!

When you get rid of the items he gave you, then you are one step closer to never thinking about your ex again. Go join a baseball team, work a little bit more, and find new hobbies. There truly are a zillion different things you can do to get over your ex. Make your list and take action with it right now. This is a pretty popular move when couples break up.

They try to drown their sorrows in alcohol. Stop and think if you are making the best decisions right now to move on with your life. Stop thinking about the past and envision the future instead.

If you are making progress and love to shop, reward yourself with a new pair of shoes! This is your opportunity to step outside your comfort zone and shine. Try new things and bask yourself in the glory of having the freedom to make the best choices for you. Make the decision to stop thinking about your ex and it will happen, just give it a little time. This one is taking the tough love route. What this does is help you to consciously de-program your brain from wandering into ex territory.

If you are emotionally overwhelmed about your ex, this is going to weigh you down royally on your path forward. Be open and positive and treat yourself with love and respect. Do the things in life that make you smile.

When you get angry, let your emotions out in a positive way. Do not blame yourself. Take a stab at blaming the relationship itself and not you or your ex personally. This will give you the window of opportunity to move on and not feel any guilt at all. Nobody goes into a relationship looking to break up. End of story. When you talk about what you are thinking and feeling with someone you trust, you will feel much better.

Often just having a good sounding board works wonders in letting go of your ex and moving forward with a positive outlook. You deserve to smile and this means you are going to have to work through your emotions top to bottom. This is totally disgusting but you need to stick with it. This pointer is all about addiction and recover. One surefire reason for not being able to get passed your ex is because you have ignored the process.

You need to learn to accept and let go. You also need to learn how to handle the hurt caused by losing someone who was once special in your life. Learn the process and you will get past this — Believe it! Check out Meetup. Stop and ask yourself how and why you get obsessed about things; and how to stop it. Do you have an addictive personality? In order to heal yourself emotionally and spiritually, you need to accept your strengths and weaknesses and learn how to heal yourself.

Not a bad thing but something that needs to be acknowledged. After which you need to cut yourself loose. If you are having trouble not thinking about your ex and the breakup, give yourself permission to do so. Maybe you want to schedule 10 minutes in the morning and at night where you can think about your ex. In time, you will find this time you spend reflecting and obsessing totally useless. Full speed ahead to be happy. So if you force yourself to stop thinking about your ex, that will ultimately be the only thing you can think of.

Weird but true. So stop obsessing and just allow yourself to think about your ex. Accept the thoughts and replace them with take action steps to get past them. You need to have self-control and determination to control your thinking but you can do it if you choose to. They need to be in the past and the past should stay where it is. You deserve to move forward happily. What you need to understand is you will move on with your life in time and you will find an amazing partner.

Stop it before it does. If you are ready to stop thinking about your ex, you need to simply take action to break the habit.

This takes a lot of effort up front and you need to be fully committed to your cause. When you learn how to stop obsessing, your life will get back on track fast. There are oodles of different strategies that do help.

When you take both emotional and practical tips and combine them, you increase the chances of forgetting about your ex, once and for all.

Keep trying until you figure out what works for you. Stick with it until you are free and clear and can move confidently on in your life to bigger and better. You can do it and using these expert tips, tricks, and proven strategies is only going to help you get there safely. Everything made sense except for jumping in the bed with another.

Heartbreak and possibility of bad situations will only become of such, transferring your feelings on to another. Just grow and learn on your own. The jumping into a new relationship seems very unhealthy, as it has also been warned against by psychology experts on relationships. I think there is a certain point — like years — it is a good idea to at least try. I know my ex is never coming back, even though I am not really over it. They are lonely and realistic that the ex is not coming back.

I spent 9 years with my partner, we had been looking at wedding rings. It took him 20 seconds to tell me it was over and would not answer my questions-the usual why. Only when I asked if there was someone else did he react. He turn around and walked out the door. I had 3 days of uncontrollable sobbing and sending text after text, with no responses.

Then I got angry, and deleted his number, blocked him on Facebook, changed my relationship status to single. Wrote a list of what was wrong with our relationship, so when I start to miss him I read my list.

I am walking the dog like times a day just to keep busy. That does help. It has only been a week. Time does not help, you have to decide when to stop. I have given him enough time. The hurt stop…. That all makes sense to me, I miss him so much, but I have to find me again, I am beginning to know my own worth now. Anonymous ya right. My ex put my mind in a position, to think we would last. And, ended it with me like it was nothing.

I blocked her on all social, but I still pained a while. I deserve and demand better. Really stupid. This looks like pretty good advice. My situation is a little different. I got dumped by my dreamgirl 23 years ago, but I never really got over her, I just moved on.

In the back of my mind she was always there on this pedestal above everyone else I dated. There was something special about her that attracted everyone, men, women. Anyone I wound up getting married to someone else of course , three kids, divorced three years ago we had a few tough years, I had a lot of physical issues that are now in the past.

Anyway, this experience has just rocketed me back to being a brokenhearted, dumped 25 year old, as if the 23 intervening years had never happened. And I desperately want her back in my life I know, desperation…. I never went thru the process of grief all those years again, so I find myself trying to weasel nicely!

It doesnt matter what happens, but you need to grieve regardless. You need to remember that 23 years have passed, and a LOT happens in 23 years. The person she is now is NOT the person 23 years ago. Shes completely different. She has different goals, dreams and anxieties. Just think what happens when you need to deal with those!!! Then what! Then all the beautiful things you thought about here is gone.

You actually have no idea what she would be like with your children, with you, what happens when things go wrong or go bad. You will assume its rainbows and butterflies. Shes a totally NEW person — treat her has such. My case is somewhat similar to yours. But the thing is that I am married. And after 15 years away from my ex, we reconnected and that brought back memories. We never really got over each other and that is affecting my marriage because my focus has shifted totally.

But now, I am in the process of letting go totally and facing my new life. My Ex acknowledges my position but maintains that we still be friends. What do you think? Thank you. The man I have loved for 11 years is unfortunately a Narcissist and has just discarded me for the second time to go back to the same ex-girlfriend. I am doing what I can — hitting the gym, new haircut, going out with friends, riding my motorbike, dating, keeping busy, etc, etc and I guess time heals all.

Anyway, thanks for the advice. And God forbid I have a sexual thought it immediately turns to visions of her and I cant take it. I just want to be free of her and I find myself still ruled by her. What about if you work with them?

I aad a year of counselling about year after it ended. And even met the person and discussed what happens after 2 years. For a brief time after things were OK. But then it just felt like it doubled down. Blocking them out and ignoring them only does so much. Even having dreams about it. I am in the same situation. I work with my ex who I am still deeply in love with.

Hey Rob, The exact same thing has been happening to me for about 3 months now. I think about my -ex in the morning, when I wake up, throughout the day, and when I go to bed at night. I notice I only sleep well about hours a night and at work I where I have my own office space become an emotional sobbing mess where you feel like something is squeezing your chest area around your heart real hard—these pangs or moments happen once or twice a day; at other times once every two or three days.

Its simply a frame of mind. In conclusion, in my case I convinced myself several years ago that this woman was the MOST beautiful and youngest woman that I had ever touched; she was 17 years my junior and very pretty and voluptuous. Just a thought…. I need some help!!! I think I might need some therapy to get over him! Please someone help me!!! Just someone help me!! I walk. I work. We debunked 8 popular health myths to give you the real story.

Need help living more mindfully? When our sleep patterns get out of whack, it can take a toll on the rest of our lives — here's how sleep and weight loss affect each other. Curious how working from home has changed the way we work?

Microsoft's study suggests it isn't all it's cracked up to be. Want to create your own self-care rituals? We found the best books and products to help light the way when getting started with rituals on your…. Body dysphoric disorder BDD is marked by chronic negative self-talk and obsession over perceived physical flaws. Read about the symptoms, diagnosis…. Restore equilibrium Be expressive Shift your mindset Share with others Bottom line Share on Pinterest We include products we think are useful for our readers.

Discard haunted objects. Find positive ways to release emotions. Share your story with a loved one. Bottom line. Read this next.